Mattress Shopping

Beau and I have never had a real bed.  We've spent the last 5 years alternating between sleeping on a sofa and an antique horse hair mattress.  There is no excuse for the horse hair mattress.  Our best bet suggests that it is over 100 years old.  That's gross.  The "mattress" is in the shape of a taco.  You have to sleep uphill if you want to avoid rolling into the center.  It's a skill Beau still hasn't acquired.  He also swears the hairs poke him in his sleep (they don't).  And last but not least, it's impossible to move.  Because it lacks all structure, you can't grip it and it folds in strange places like it's filled with dead bodies.  It's ridiculous.  We're ridiculous.

This is a Hasten's Horsehair Mattress...$60,000 on sale for $49,500

The sofa, however, was not something we could have avoided. Due to the limitations of a stairwell, the only bed we could hope to fit into my parent's basement was crafted from pieces designed to form a sectional or LoveSac "sactional".  Yeah, it's not a great name.  Anyways, due to the size of the sactional pieces, the only bed we could form is HUGE and has multiple crevices.

Long story short-ish, we're due a new bed.   The bed is actually the easy part, I think.  I'll get to that tomorrow.  My question is, how do you shop for a mattress?  Our experience doesn't exactly lend us to knowing what we like.  No tacos or crevices, please.  And it would be awesome if normal sized sheets actually fit.  I'm intimidated by the ridiculous sales and the fact that every store seems to carry the same brands, but gives the styles/models different names, making it impossible to compare prices.  All I know for sure is that we want a queen, innerspring mattress, firm, no pillow top, and the more coils the better.  I've read great things about The Original Mattress Factory, which sells their own mattresses, without funky names, and doesn't offer any sale gimmicks at all.  Sounds perfect. Unfortunately, the closest store is 4+ hours away.  Road trip?